Good-Bye

I said good-bye to my job yesterday. It was nothing less than surreal. This job had been my constant and my everything during my time in New York. I actually begged my boss to let me work on Thanksgiving last year because I didn’t want to be alone on the holiday. At that time the closest thing to family were my coworkers. During the last days at my job I truly was saying goodbye to my family members. Sometimes it is hard to see the impact a person has on your life until you have to let them go. I had to let a lot of people yesterday and in turn they had to let go of me.

I have been blessed to have this job and looking back I was able to recognize the reasons the Lord put me in that place. I was meant to have that job. I am not the person that I was when I was first hired. I was quiet, insecure, and subordinate. I had no concept of my worth. Through that job the Holy Spirit was able to enter into my soul and revitalize it. What was the greatest surprise was that when I opened up and allowed my true self to shine people actually saw it and appreciated it. I spent most of my life not being seen, countless times I had experienced feelings of being invisible which resulted in me believing that I may just be unimportant or worthless. I was just another person taking up space. This was the greatest lie fed to me by the enemy and I had been living with it for so long I couldn’t even acknowledge the lie. The Lord brought me into the truth and showed me who I am. I am a child of God and that in the most important role anyone could ever have. I can now leave that job because it has fulfilled its purpose. I know who I am and I can enter into this this world with confidence knowing that no one can take away who I really am. As I walked out of that job into the real world for a moment I felt alone, putting my work family behind me and venturing out by myself. But I was not alone, Jesus Christ was right there on the other side waiting to take me home.

This has been an unexpected and surprising Christmas season. In many ways it has not felt like Christmas. I have been so caught up with the crazy schedules of work it made it difficult to stop and take in the joys of the season. On top of that it has barely snowed, it has only rained. I love the rain but it does not bring the feeling of Christmas cheer. It wasn’t until I came to my final days at my job that I realized how much the spirit of Christmas had been present in my life all along. We are in the season of Advent and we are awaiting our savior Jesus Christ. I just quit my job, I should be terrified because I just lost my consistent source of income and my health insurance. What am I doing? I have no fear though and I have never felt more at peace. Jesus Christ has truly come and He has come and saved me. Instead of seeing doors closing I am seeing them open. The possibilities are endless because I am finally free.

What is next for me?

Everything! I want to do everything and be anything and I can do it because I know who I am in Jesus Christ.