Sometimes the odds are just stacked against you! Yes, I must confess I gave into a bad mood over the past few days. Thanks to the time change I did not have the energy to fight it. I really am not a fan of this time change thing it is not healthy and throws your life out of wack; physically, mentally and emotionally. I was opening at my work Sunday morning so naturally I did not get any of sleep the night before. I kept waking up freaking out that I would sleep through my alarm and be late. On the bright side I was not alone in my struggle to get some rest before work, all my coworkers were walking around like zombies the entire day. In addition to the severe lack of sleep my acid reflux also came back. I am not sure if it was the result of the time change or in light of my birthday being a week away it was my body sending me a reminder that I am getting older. I am choosing to believe it was a combination of the two. My dad has struggled with acid reflux as well and he has warned me that there is a depression that comes with it. At first I didn’t believe him mainly because I could not see the relationship between the two. Whether I see it or not the depression set in today. I went into work with a negative attitude. With my birthday coming up my thoughts dwelled on evaluating what I was doing doing with my life and I came to the unwanted realization that all I am doing right now is going to work, running errands, and doing laundry. Obviously my life consists of much more than that but in my depressive state I found it difficult appropriately rationalize the situation.
God has wonderful ways of sending you little miracles when you need them though even when you don’t deserve them. After work on Sunday I went to mass and in receiving the holy Eucharist Jesus Christ took away the pain of the acid reflux and revitalize me so that I was able to make home. The immense lack of sleep paired with the acid reflux really took all my energy out of me and without the strength of the Holy Spirit I probably wouldn’t have made it. In the Gospel Jesus said, “Unless you people see signs and wonders, you will not believe.” (Luke 4: 43-54) Even though I may not see the work the Lord is doing in my life right now that doesn’t mean He is not there. In fact He is even more present asking me to walk by faith and not by sight. “Faith is confident assurance concerning what we hope for, and conviction about things we do not see.” (Hebrews 11) I have hope in my future, the Lord continues to give me great blessings in my life and the more faith I place in Him the greater the blessings.