The year 2018 was truly a miraculous year for me. I rediscovered myself and more importantly I found the Lord again, what is interesting is that I didn’t even know that I had lost Him. As I enter into this new year I am realizing how much of 2018 was simply preparation of what is to come. The Lord provided me with the crucial tools that I am going to be in need of moving forward. The key tool being trust.
The Christmas holiday gave me the opportunity to return home to Colorado. It was absolutely wonderful getting to rest in my own home and spend some much needed time with my family. The visit was made even better because I was finally free from my crippling job that I had been chained to for the past year. I was amazed that I wasn’t more terrified of the unknown that I faced going forward. I had no job, no income, no health insurance, no security. I really didn’t even know where I was supposed to go in the new year but I felt okay because I had faith that God had a plan and He came through in a huge way. The day after Christmas I had a interview with a company in New Jersey and at the completion of the interview they hired me. I had a direction again and I felt fulfillment. I no longer had the fear of uncertainty hanging over me. It was in that feeling that God gave me the best Christmas present of all… peace.
Of course, after that initial feeling of peace came reality set in. I was going to have to move and buy a car; both of which requires money. Once again the Lord was calling me to trust in Him, I had to put aside my personal anxieties and focus on His plan for my life. In conversations with family and friends I found myself saying things that I never thought I would say. When asked about the details of my new job and new life I didn’t have good answers for them. I simply told them that it is in God’s hands. It was clear that the Lord wanted me to have this job and I am going to trust in that fact. Everything else will work itself out because God has willed it to be so and I was finally learning to release control. In this time of my life, when it would be completely logical for me to increase my grip on my life and plan out every last detail, I choose to let go. It is incredibly liberating and terrifying all at the same time. I must admit I am still learning and God has been extremely gentle with me. He has provided me with several affirmations whenever I am in need of assurance that I am following the right path.
Currently, I am in limbo and waiting on the Lord. All I have is my faith, trust and perhaps a little pixie dust (ha,ha). God has shown me that trust is all I need for He has given me no reason to doubt. There is no way I could have survived 2018 without God. He provided for me when I could not. This is only the beginning, get ready because the next chapter is going to be unbelievable.