Nine Lives

Every cat has nine lives is an old expression we have all heard many times and I can personally attest that my first cat definitely had at least nine! She was scrappy and without fear; once she even literally escaped from the jaws of the dog next door and lived to the ripe old age of sixteen.

My nickname is Kat (sometimes Kitty), and I always loved the concept of having nine lives. It recently occurred to me that at the moment I have embarked on my third life. This past week I celebrated my three year anniversary of moving away from Colorado and living on the east coast. When I left for New York three years ago, God truly stepped in and transformed not only my life, but my spirit and my soul as well. I am not the same girl that left home in September of 2017. This move was not the first time God significantly altered my life, however. I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes my freshman year of college in December of 2006. I had to leave southern California and transfer to the University of Colorado; I changed my major and my career goals. I felt as though I lost a life and gained a new one, clearly orchestrated by God, drawing me closer to Him.

My first life was my childhood and youth–a time of growth and experiencing the innocence of childhood slightly changing with the transition to adolescence. I loved my childhood; my most cherished memories come from that life because I was given the gift of faith that I was a child of God as well as my earthly parents. I was nestled into a cozy house in a quiet suburb of Denver, CO. A huge backyard provided great scope for my imagination where God spoke to me. That life ended when I set off for college, and the chronic illness of diabetes that no one recognized threatened to kill me before the end of my first semester. This life ended not from the physical illness as much as from the one that had infested my soul during the years leading up to college. I had lost sight of the Lord and fallen prey to the evil spirits that control this world. My success in obtaining a scholarship to a private college in California was completely due to following all the traditional rules of secular academia. I learned that when I place all my hopes and dreams in this world, it leads to destruction. I became extremely sick and walked with death that first semester of college. I lost my will to live, but finally released control of my life to God who miraculously restored it to me with an altered design.

My second life was a second chance back in Colorado. I attempted to restart it with new priorities. I graduated from the local university and sought employment in Denver, abandoning my ideas of becoming the first woman president or an Academy Award winning actress. My lofty ambitions were getting up in the morning and getting through one day at a time. The task of learning to live with diabetes required a completely different lifestyle for me. Although each day was a struggle, my devotion to God was strengthened as a result. When I almost died and miraculously did not, I knew I owed my new life to my Creator and pledged to give it back to Him. Of course, I didn’t really understand what that meant. For almost eleven years I persevered, thinking I was doing the Lord’s will but I was actually fighting it. My life was dictated by my fears rather than following God’s plan. By the end of this second life, I was simply surviving this world, not actually living. I was a hollow shell with no emotion, no soul, no love. Once again, it was time for drastic divine intervention. I was dead inside and it was only after realizing the nothingness life held for me that I was able to take the leap of faith and leave home for New York City. I had nothing to lose!

As I now look back on three years in this most recent life, it seems much longer than just three years. I have moved from New York to New Jersey to Connecticut and most recently to South Carolina. This life is truly an adventure with the Holy Spirit because I finally figured out what giving my life to God means. During my time in New York City I lived on nothing. The money I made did not even cover groceries, yet I was never without food or a roof over my head. My needs were always provided for and through this period I grew and increased my faith so that I discovered my authority in defending it. I began to speak according to what the Holy Spirit was telling me.

“For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25

I have no idea what the next life the Lord has in store for me will be like. I do know that I eagerly anticipate it. Each time I have died to myself in order to gain life in the Lord, He has drawn me closer. I have found there is no limit on how close I can be to Jesus. I crave this connection and I live for it. There is truly nothing else worth living for without the presence of my Savior.