A Crown of Blood Red and Purple Roses

“Hail! Queen of the Most Holy Rosary, my Mother Mary, hail! At your feet I humbly pray and offer you a crown of blood-red roses, in remembrance of the passion of your divine Son. Each ten bound together, recalling to you a sorrowful mystery, with my petition for a particular grace.

Hail! Queen of the Most Holy Rosary, my Mother Mary, hail! At your feet I humbly pray and offer you a crown of royal purple roses, to remind you of your glories. Each ten bound together, recalling to you a glorious mystery, with my petition for a particular grace.”

These prayers begin the 54-Day Novena, well-known in the Catholic community. It is said to obtain a special favor from our Mother Mary. You pray 27 days of intention and then 27 days of thanksgiving for Mary’s grace in fulfilling your request. The thanksgiving prayers should be said even if your request is not granted because our Mother Mary is always working in our best interests on our behalf. I decided to start this novena this past Monday. To be honest, I feel I should already be saying the prayers of thanksgiving. Since the time the quarantine began, the Lord has provided several miracles in my life. The Holy Spirit has moved in ways I never imagined. I still am not sure exactly what their purpose is, but I have complete faith that the fulfillment of that purpose will be wonderful.

Over the last month, I moved from Connecticut to South Carolina. I was surprised the Lord called me to move so quickly since He led me to move to Connecticut just 4 months ago. This must be what happens when you say “yes” to the Lord. My life is no longer my own; I now should be in South Carolina. Looking back on my journey there, it has been unpredictable but also exciting. I have moved over 5 times in less than 3 years. I never thought I would move so often; I believed I would live in my hometown in Colorado forever. I also felt I would hate a life that required moving from one place to another. The miracle is that what I thought I would hate the most has brought me the most joy. Up till now, I have lived in fear of change, but instead, I embrace it.

In thanksgiving for all the blessings the Lord has given me even amidst all the uncertainty in this world, I decided to dye my hair again. I dyed it blue when I moved to New Jersey to celebrate the new changes the Lord granted to me then. The color blue was a symbol and a reminder of the love and care of Mother Mary. I’m sure it may seem odd to some that I would dye my hair as a sign of thanksgiving to Jesus, but I believe that as children of God, we all long to find creative ways to express our devotion to Him. The act of dyeing my hair is an outward sign of the love and trust I have in Jesus Christ. This time I chose red and purple for the colors to reflect the prayers of this 54-Day Novena. I pray it will be seen as my offering of deep red and royal purple roses to Mary and her son Jesus Christ. I have already seen how the Lord can use my hair to allow me to interact with and enter into His family. It has sparked conversation, and the conversations have created joy for both myself and others. I can feel the Holy Spirit working to inspire these conversations because I am an introvert and do not normally initiate verbal exchanges with people I don’t know.

Regardless of what this recent change means or what plans the Lord has in store for me, I am assured that a true adventure lies ahead. I owe everything to Him and will never stop offering everything I have in return to Him with thanksgiving.

Praying Deeper

It is officially May, and I have been in a state of isolation for over a month due to the pandemic. In the past week, I have undergone several mental struggles. I’ve become frustrated with my lack of motivation. I have all the time in the world, but cannot get anything done. Each passing day I seem to waste more time. A little voice in my head keeps saying, “Make the most of this time; you’ll miss it when you don’t have it.” My mind actively sought to accomplish everything I “should” be doing. I should be volunteering, walking outside, reading more books, even writing a book! These thoughts left me with more anxiety–my to-do list was increasing, but I was unable to complete anything on the list. The anxiety came from my belief that I was letting the Lord down. He gave me this gift of time, a time I truly wanted to give back to Him and devote to Him, but I was squandering it by twiddling my fingers and wandering aimlessly from one random thought to another.

I was reaching my limit; my frustrations were mounting uncontrollably, when I tuned into a talk led by a Franciscan friar. He echoed many of the same feelings I experienced, saying this was a time to draw closer to God; however, this friar had a different perspective of what this call really meant. I was looking for ways to draw closer to God through man made means: seminars, books, live-streamed Masses, and specific prayers. The friar’s way of drawing closer to God was much simpler–it was to go deeper into prayer. So many times I have focused on the specific prayers I should say daily–like the Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. These prayers are wonderful, but I become so fixated on saying them that I forget to actually allow for transformation to take place. The friar pointed out that there is a deeper form of prayer we can achieve. He illustrated this idea of our hearts on top of a mountain, and on this mountain, we can weather the storms around us. This is where we can encounter Jesus Christ. It is so easy to let our emotions and thoughts define who we are, but we are deeper than that definition. The chaos created by our emotions and thoughts causes the storms surrounding us. By going further into prayer, we can overcome these storms and find ourselves on top of the mountain where we can be with Christ and only Christ. Then we can discover what He is truly saying to us.

I eagerly tried this new method of prayer because I wouldn’t feel limited by everything I was “supposed” to do or say, all I really had to do was draw closer to the Lord. It worked! For five minutes, I felt as though I had accomplished more than in the past month of quarantine. Within those five minutes, I did not try to pray for anything. I had no pre-arranged agendas; I simply allowed myself to be with Christ. I was finally at peace with this unique time in my life. God is asking me for a deeper prayer life with Him, but this does not require any heroic effort–all I need to do is to be with Him.


He has Risen, He has Risen indeed. Praise the Lord, Glory and Alleluia.

I do not think I have ever been so starved to speak those words! There were many surprises that greeted me this beautiful Sunday morning–none of which I anticipated or expected. It all started at the stroke of midnight, ushering in the dawn of Easter Sunday. I gave up eating meat for Lent. Honestly, for most of the Lenten season, I really did not feel it was much of a sacrifice; I was perfectly content with fish and meat substitutes, but suddenly as we entered Holy Week, I was overcome with an immense desire for meat. It became so bad that by the time Good Friday arrived, I felt I could not survive without it. I was so weak, and nothing could dispel the need for meat. To make matters worse, I was consumed with guilt. Was I such a weak person that I could not sacrifice indulging in meat for only 48 more hours?

Midnight finally came, and it was officially Easter. I could finally have meat; I had made it through Lent. The feeling of failure still remained because I was following the concept that what we sacrifice in Lent is meant to bring us closer to God, by eliminating the distractions of this life, we could achieve true reliance on the Lord. Yet here I was on Easter Sunday, and all I wanted was meat, completely distracted from Jesus Christ and His triumph over death. When I prepared my meal complete with meat and took my first bite, my mind, heart and soul were cleared, and the weight of Lent was lifted. I was filled with the Holy Spirit, who revealed to me why my insatiable need for meat was not a sign of weakness at all, it was just the opposite. This desire for meat I had felt was not simply human hunger, it was spiritual hunger. The hunger I had for meat was truly the hunger for Jesus Christ. Throughout all of Lent, I have been underestimating the effects I was experiencing by not receiving the Eucharist every Sunday. Lent had become a time of blind faith and trust and easy thanksgiving. I thanked God every day for simple things, but I wasn’t praising Him, and I missed Him in the Eucharist. It was not until Sunday morning that I was finally aware of how much I needed Him. The hunger I had for meat is the hunger I need to have every time I approach Jesus and receive Him through the Holy Eucharist. I praised and thanked God for the gift of the meal He had provided, showing me that He is my Savior and without Him there is no hope.

I know meat is no substitute for the Eucharist, but nevertheless I felt satisfied for the first time since the coronavirus pandemic took away our ability to receive the Lord at Mass. Most importantly, I felt filled with hope. The season of Lent was focused on faith and trust, but not on hope. I concentrated on the suffering of the season and the meaning of that suffering, but I forgot about the joy our faith should give us. Easter morning, the sun rose and so did our Lord. This world is working tirelessly to find the solution to this pandemic, but I had forgotten that this battle has already been won on the cross. This day has come with a promise that our situation will get better; Jesus Christ has conquered death. Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!


I feel as though I should start dating these blogs the way the captains on starships dated their logs on classic episodes of “Star Trek.”

Star Dates Log — 2004.10
Today marks the 12th day of being in complete quarantine. You can learn so much about yourself when you are alone with only your own thoughts to keep you company. You become aware of all your annoying habits because you start to annoy yourself. You can also figure out the way you would really like to live! One of the biggest surprises I have encountered about myself is that I am naturally a night owl. I have been trying to maintain a routine, and in trying to establish one, have discovered that I am at my best after 9 p.m. It’s been a constant struggle to sleep in the evening and I’ve been extremely tired every morning. Thanks to these days of quarantine, I am able to allow my body to sleep when it wants to rest, and work when it has the best ability to function. Although the state of our country causes a great deal of stress, I can find a routine that works for me, finally complementing my body’s natural rhythm.

This is an unprecedented, difficult time. I wake up every day with fear and uncertainty. With so much unknown, it is easy to give in to despair, and to the belief that things will never get better, but what good can negativity do? In all this suffering, there are great and wonderful blessings. Good Friday honors the passion of Jesus Christ, and His sacrifice for all our sins. Why was His suffering necessary? The truth is that through suffering, unimaginable graces can be granted. It is crucial to remember Christ’s suffering in times like these. When we suffer, we can offer that suffering to the Lord, and ask for His aid through our suffering, just as Christ’s suffering on the cross was offered up for the forgiveness of our sins.

During this period of isolation, I have become aware of how broken a person I am. It is now that Jesus Christ calls to me, He wants me to come to Him in all my brokenness. My prayers have been transformed throughout these days of quarantine because I am giving myself entirely to Jesus.

“Oh my Jesus, I am broken and scared. I am fearful that I will not be able to pay my bills. I am fearful that I may not have a job when this pandemic is over. I have let this fear enter my being, and my positive attitude to diminish. I do not like the person I have become. I do not like the person I am when I speak to my friends and family. In your name, Jesus Christ, I offer up my brokenness and imperfections for the salvation of this world. I humbly ask that my suffering, no matter how small it is, may help and work towards the betterment of this world and that the world can truly be made a better place through this pandemic.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.”


This week was one of new realities, realities I could never have imagined were even possible. These new realities came as a shock, not just for me or the nation, but for the entire world. The spread of the coronavirus has become a steady source of news—everyone is affected and there is no way to escape it. I tried really hard to avoid it but this past week I had to give in and accept the harsh truth. My birthday was this past Thursday and I had great plans for it. To be honest, they did not seem like such great plans before they were taken away from me. My parents were going to visit me and then over the weekend, we were going to explore Providence, Rhode Island, a place I had never been before. A few days before they were due to arrive, my parents had to cancel their trip due to the escalating threat of this worldwide virus. My disappointment when they told me of their decision went far deeper than I expected. I was not surprised by it and would be lying if I claimed I didn’t see it coming. Every event and all “unnecessary” travel is being cancelled or postponed; this virus has effectively put life as we know it on hold.

Never in my life have I been in similar circumstances. It is this great state of unknown that causes the most struggle. The closest experience in my past is when I was first diagnosed with Type I diabetes. I knew nothing about the condition–all I knew is that it could lead to death if untreated. In this way, the coronavirus resembles diabetes. Most people do not know much about it, only the negative outcomes it can have, especially when hearing the increasing death toll. When my parents cancelled their trip to visit me, all the fearful feelings I had before I was diagnosed with diabetes came flooding back. During the months I was dealing with diabetes and unaware of what was going on, my body was shutting down. Even though I was not consciously thinking I was dying, my body was headed for ketoacidosis, which results in death. I truly believe my body was preparing to die. My parents visited me at college during that period and I would cry for days after they left. It may be normal to miss your parents, but not to cry for so long and with such wrenching sobs as I did. On some level, it was as if I believed it would be the last time I would see my parents. When my parents cancelled their trip to visit me on my birthday this year, the inner fear of never seeing them again emerged in me, not because I was dying but because of all the great unknowns this world is facing. Within one week, the coronavirus has turned the world upside down.

This was definitely the worst birthday I ever had. There were difficult ones in the past, but I’ve always been able to hug someone or have someone who could celebrate with me. This was the first birthday of my life where no one hugged me. This may sound trivial, and to some extent it may be, but it proves a key truth that we cannot forget amid all the craziness of the current situation. Humans were not made to be alone. God created us to be in community with each other; we are meant to be members of His family. At first I was angry with the government for taking away my ability to go to church, my ability to see friends and family, or just to be around other people in a store or coffee shop, but I realized the government is not the enemy. It is doing its best to protect us from an unfamiliar enemy. Although it may seem that the virus is the enemy, it is not–the enemy is and has always been Satan. In less than a month, he has inflicted terror, fear and horror on our world. Based on this past week, I would have probably conceded and admit he had succeeded in bringing us to our knees. But he has not! Through the power of Jesus Christ, Satan can never win. I praise God for allowing some true blessings through all this tribulation. I have been able to take Zumba classes with friends back in Colorado because the instructors are holding virtual classes. I have been walking outside more because all retail establishments are closed. My walks have brought me closer to the Lord; I can appreciate his beautiful creation walking with Him, side by side. Most important of all, I have reached out to friends I haven’t spoken to for a long time. We are all feeling alone in different and yet similar ways, all craving connection. We may be unable to be together the way we used to be, but we can adapt. In God and through God, we will survive this current state of unknowing and will be stronger for it. It is crucial to remember that we are never ever alone. In times of true isolation, we can hear the Lord’s voice most clearly and without worldly interference.

What is Wrong With the World?

In the early twentieth century, a popular publication asked the question: “What is wrong with the world?” The question received several different responses, but the shortest and probably the most significant response came from G.K. Chesterton, who simply stated, “I am.” What a bold and truly honest answer. G.K. Chesterton is a well-known and highly esteemed Catholic writer and theologian. For him to answer this question by placing all that is wrong with the world on himself was a surprising and courageous move. As unexpected as that answer may have been, what might be even more surprising is that he was right–right, in the sense that we all contribute to what is wrong with the world. In today’s society, we are always quick to point the finger at someone else for any problems that arise. We like to run away from taking responsibility for what went wrong. How would the world look if we all admitted to our mistakes and took on the consequences of our actions?
I live in a different century, yet I find myself faced with the same question G.K. Chesterton encountered and find I also must answer it with the same response: “I am.” I am a weak, flawed and sinful individual. I am far from perfect and often let fear govern my decisions instead of trusting in the Lord and allowing Him to govern every action of my life. Even when I am at my best, there is always a fear imbedded into my DNA. This fear is the direct result of sin, and of Satan entering in and taking control of me. This is the easiest answer for what keeps Satan in control of this world–his ability to instill fear in people. Fear is my most difficult emotion to overcome because it transforms my perception of the world, and I lose the capability to see clearly and to see the Lord essentially.
During this Lenten season, I am choosing to take G.K. Chesterton’s answer to this question as a challenge. I am what is wrong with the world; now what am I going to do about it? Lent is the perfect time to reflect on this challenge and to take drastic steps to transform my life. I no longer want to contribute to the world’s problems, but instead contribute to their solution. This Sunday’s Gospel reading was the transfiguration of Jesus Christ. It describes the moment where everything changed and Jesus was confirmed as the Son of God in the presence of three of his disciples. Jesus Christ was transformed, and if I allow it, I can be transformed during this Lent as well. Jesus asks us to come to Him with all our brokenness and then allow Him to take control. I am and always will be what is wrong with the world, but if I let Jesus Christ do what He wills with my life, my sinfulness will never be able to take control because Jesus is more powerful than sin. I actively choose to give my life to God every day. As long as I continue this practice, Satan will never be able to dictate how I deal with my fear. Instead, Jesus Christ will control my fear, and He will make sure that only good comes from the way I address it.

Thank You

To the Lord, my God, who has given me everything that I have and possess I offer my thanks.

Thank you for my diabetes, for without it I would have fallen into a life of sin and would have never learned who Jesus Christ really is.

Thank you for taking away my health insurance, for if I had it I would have never learned what it means to have complete trust in you and know that you are the great physician and will protect me in the best way possible. 

Thank you for my poverty, for without it I would have never been able to experience the charity, kindness and generosity of others and the immense giving spirit you wish to share with your people. 

Thank you for my tears, my anger and my fear, for without these things I would have never learned to listen to your voice. 

Thank you for not giving me a husband in the times I thought I really needed one, for with one I would have never fallen in love with you and been able to realize you are my one and only soul mate. You are the answer not only in this life but in the next.

Thank you for my family, friends, job, health, food, water, the air I breathe, church, community, place of residence, hope for the future, memories of the past, knowledge, wisdom, blind faith, pets, unconditional love, grace, peace, silence, excitement, movies, books, truth, cable TV, vacation, nature, exercise, cellphone, internet, Starbucks, iced coffee, insulin, the kindness of strangers, and everything I have forgotten…

Thank you for everything you have made me to be. I have nothing and truly am nothing without you and your grace. You are love and  even though I am not worthy of it I am so grateful for knowing and experiencing your love every day.

Titanic (revisited)

Yesterday I was browsing through channels on my TV, searching for something to watch when divine intervention led me to the movie “Titanic.”  I hadn’t seen or thought about this movie for a long time.  I remember the movie first came out when I was in fourth grade and truly determined the reality in which I lived for years after seeing it.  “Titanic” was ground-breaking in several ways and redefined the way people in the industry made epic movies.  Since I was only in fourth grade, it was a battle to get my parents’ permission to see the movie because there was so much “adult” content that might not have been suitable for an impressionable 9 year old such as myself.  After ceaselessly nagging my parents about letting me go, they finally gave in and I’m very grateful they did.  The relationship between the two main characters, Jack and Rose, was monumental as well as unusual, and it left a lasting impact on me.
Up until yesterday I had regarded their love story as a tragedy.  At the end of the movie my heart broke, thinking of Rose having to leave Jack behind when the ship sank, and to continue her life alone.  I had convinced myself that Jack was Rose’s true soulmate, and she had to settle for someone else.  The story seemed sad to my 9 year old self.  It didn’t end the way it was supposed to, just as Romeo and Juliet didn’t end the way it should have.  Watching the movie again was a completely new experience for me as an adult because I could see Rose and Jack’s relationship with new eyes, through God’s eyes.  When I watched the movie in the past, I had seen the story unfold through flawed human eyes.  I believed it had a tragic ending because it did not end the way I wanted it to.  I was not open to the beauty and providence of God’s plan for the characters.  Rose and Jack were supposed to meet and be a part of each other’s lives at that exact moment in time.  Jack opened Rose up to allow her to see and become the woman she was meant to be, and in turn, Rose helped Jack fulfill his purpose in life so when he died, God would welcome him into His kingdom in heaven.  I still believe Jack and Rose were soulmates, but not in the constricted way I used to consider such relationships.  They were intended to be together, but only for the time God wanted them to be.  Life continues despite change; nothing stays the same.  Only the Lord’s love for all His created beings remains constant.  The Lord entered Rose’s life through Jack’s intercession and influence on her.  When she boarded the Titanic, she was a prisoner to all the entrapments of an earthly world, but when she reached America, a new world, she was a new person.  She was free–free to be the daughter of God as He created her to be.  She moved forward, not alone, but with Him, and He took care of her.
The movie ended exactly the way it should have.  Rose and Jack’s relationship was precisely orchestrated by the divine Composer.  The whole story of “Titanic” is a beautiful and profound example of God’s will at work.  Although “Titanic” has always been regarded as tragedy because so many innocent people lost their lives, it is also a story of triumph and victory.  Survivors living to tell the grand tale, like Rose, were forever changed and were brought closer to the Lord.  They realized they needed to rely on Him instead of the material world, which could be taken away in an instant.


What I consider weakness, the Lord uses as strength.  What I see as a hindrance, the Lord turns into an asset.  All my life I have felt invisible and unimportant.  I had a desire to accomplish great things that would make an impact on the world, so I had to connect with the “right people.”  This was an ongoing struggle–whenever I attempted to make those crucial connections, I was overlooked.  Each time I went to an event I believed could lead to a life-changing moment, I was left feeling empty and a failure.  I would always blame God and question Him.  I was doing everything in my power to use the life He had given me as an opportunity to change the world for the better, but I ended up with doors being shut in my face.  What was I doing wrong?  Maybe I was not looking in the right places and not placing my trust in God, although I believed I was.
This past Thursday was the Solemnity of the Assumption of Mary, and at the Mass I attended, the priest spoke of Mary’s many gifts.  He mentioned subtlety, which I had never heard described before.  The priest used the example of Mary’s visit to her cousin Elizabeth.  A young pregnant woman taking on a long journey through treacherous landscapes all by herself without WiFi, cell phones or cars–the priest emphasized the lack of modern technology that would have helped when the roads were difficult and thieves were everywhere.  How could Mary possibly have survived that journey on her own?  The answer lay in her subtlety–by the grace of the Holy Spirit, He allowed her presence to be felt but not intrusive so she reached her cousin’s home in safety.
I thought of my days living in New York City, walking the streets late at night after work.  The streets of New York are easily as dangerous as the roads Mary traveled.  More than a few times, my path was crossed by rather aggressive individuals hassling other walkers for money or food.  They would approach everyone ahead of me, but when I finally passed by, it seemed as though they didn’t see me.
I used to feel my invisibility was a curse; I wasn’t significant enough to be acknowledged, but now I realize it was a gift.  I resolved to place my faith in the Lord and trust that He will put the correct people in my path who will see me.  I was back in New York City this weekend and stopped in a church with a chapel open to all for prayer.  I had endured a long and strenuous morning and while I was in the chapel, a man approached me and asked for $20 for food.  I was somewhat taken aback–I am used to people asking for money, but $20 seemed a bit excessive.  Nevertheless, there was an aura of kindness about him.  I truly believe in the influence of the Holy Spirit and the importance of listening to His subtle promptings.  There was a peace about this man unusual for a person living in New York City.  He asked me if I was an actress and when I told him I wasn’t, he said I should be because I looked like one.  He continued to say he was a comedian, trying to be discovered by NBC.  The question about being an actress was most likely a line designed to get money, but I felt there was some sincerity behind it.  I have no desire to be an actress, but it was a career I once considered, and it was affirming to hear that someone, albeit a total stranger, thought I could be one.  Nothing happens by coincidence, and I am sure this man was placed in my path to see me, and that I might see him.  I gave him $5 and hope he used it for food.  The short interaction we had was uplifting and provided me with strength to get through the rest of my day.  Perhaps it helped him in the same way.  Our meeting was also a reminder that the Lord is in charge and only allows the “right people” to enter our lives at certain times–when they do, we need to pay attention.  We are all called to be in community with one another for we are all brothers and sisters in Christ.  When we are open to recognizing our fellow brothers and sisters as such, we can change each others’ lives for the better, even if only in small matters.
Thanks to the Lord’s blessings, I understand that I am not invisible.  I am fully seen by my Creator and Father, who is the only person that counts.  By placing my life completely in His hands, He has the ability to use me and make me visible to the people He chooses.  If I put Him first, ahead of my own desire to be seen, I can walk in confidence (and subtlety), knowing that everything I do will be done for the glory of God

Take Away The Sting

On Easter Sunday I went to mass and the priest told a story of a little boy who went for a drive with his father. During the drive the father rolled down the windows in the car and while the windows were down a bee flew into the car. The little boy started to freak out because he was allergic and he was terrified the bee would sting him. Finally, the father was able to catch the bee and held it in his hand, the little boy was able to calm down. After a while the father released the bee and it started flying around the car again. The little boy was once again filled with fear but the father held out his hand and showed it to the little boy. There imbedded in the father’s palm was the stinger of the bee. The father said to the little boy, “there is no reason for you to fear the bee anymore, I have taken away the stinger.”

This story is a perfect representation of what Jesus Christ did on the cross when He claimed victory over death. Yes, our physical bodies will die but our souls are promised eternal life. Not only are we guaranteed eternal life there are incredible graces and gifts that we can benefit from right here on Earth. In the recent scripture readings we hear the stories of the disciples and their stories after the resurrection. The image of them all huddled together in the upper room terrified of what was to come next is often a main topic after Easter. The disciples were literally paralyzed with fear. I find it near impossible to comprehend what those days must have been like without Jesus Christ. Even though we respect those three days when Christ died, we do not have to experience the true loss of Christ. I know what it feels like to put distance between Jesus and myself by my own design, that is a terribly depriving feeling by itself. I cannot begin imagine what it would feel like to be completely alone without God. Nevertheless, Jesus rose from the dead and He used that fearful experience the disciples encountered and brought great miracles from it. The disciples ended up going forward to proclaim the glory of God without fear. They went from weak and alone to strong and filled with the Holy Spirit.

“Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you.
As the Father has sent me, so I send you.”
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,
“Receive the Holy Spirit.
Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,
and whose sins you retain are retained.” ~ John 20 19-31

They went forth and many ended up being martyred for their faith. They did it willingly because Jesus took away the sting of death. Without the sting they had nothing to fear and they could do the impossible by the grace of God. I have no doubt that I will come across many things in my life that will breed fear inside but I have the ability to conquer them. Once I recognize the fear I can bring it to Jesus Christ and break its power. In the name of Jesus Christ everything can be overcome.