Disturbed

On Corpus Christi Sunday, the Gospel focuses on how humans have this never-ending desire for satisfaction. If I only look to worldly goods to quench this thirst for satisfaction, I will never find it because there will always be something outside my grasp. For me, this constant drive to be satisfied is painfully familiar. When I seek satisfaction in my job, my love life, even in the food I’m going to have for dinner, I ultimately end up dissatisfied. I spent most of my time building up this determination to attain complete control of my life. I was building my life on the great lie that I can do anything. As a result, most of my life till now has been full of disappointments. It was not until I gave up that I finally achieved satisfaction. The ugly truth is that I cannot really do anything. Everything I am today is due solely to the Lord and His place in my life.

It is so easy for human beings to fall into a routine in life and forget there is so much more than the career, the relationship, the car, the popularity or even the money (just to name a few). Nevertheless, these are the goals people naturally aspire to for complete satisfaction. I wanted so much from this world; when I started college, I majored in political science because I wanted to be the first woman president. God had other plans. I was diagnosed with diabetes my first semester and suddenly found myself without any direction. This was the perfect place for the Holy Spirit to enter in. “If your life is not disturbed, there is no relationship with God,” as a priest stated in his homily for Corpus Christi. I now live with a chronic illness that is a pillar of my life every day. I would say that is pretty disturbing! The priest continued to explain that Jesus sent out His disciples to disturb the world. They entered towns and started preaching the gospel, calling people to let go of everything they had because there was something much more satisfying than anything else. I thank God for the role diabetes plays in my life because without it, I would not be who I am today–a child of God, completely satisfied with my life. My job is not exhilarating (it can be quite boring, in fact), I don’t drive a snazzy car (mine is used and rather worn down), I am not a millionaire, and I don’t have a special relationship or a husband. What I do have is relationship with Jesus Christ. There is nothing in this world that lasts forever, so why spend any time or effort trying to hold onto it? Jesus Christ is forever, and He has given me everything I have. Since it has all come from Him, I know it all I need to be satisfied.

That is why I am writing this blog today because tomorrow is not guaranteed, and that is okay. For this moment, I am content with the presence of Jesus Christ, and this is enough for me.

One thought on “Disturbed

  1. If all of us could only live according to these words of yours and of St. Augustine’s…”our hearts are restless until they rest in Thee,” we would be much happier. The unpleasantness that greed and ambition can lead to would vanish! We might be able to live with each other in peace! Thank you for sharing this priest’s wisdom and your own.

    Like

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